How to Use EFT to Clear a Painful Memory

You're hurting about something in your past, and you want to be free from it, but you're not quite sure how to release it with EFT.  Where to begin?  Here's an easy-to-follow bullet-pointed list (who doesn't love bullet points?) to guide you through.

  • Name the memory.  For example: My girlfriend cheated on me.
  • Give a number between 0 and 10 to the emotional intensity you experience when you feel into this memory
  • Now put the memory title into an EFT set-up statement.  In this example, it would be, "Even though my girlfriend cheated on me, I deeply and completely accept myself."
  • Repeat the set-up statement three times while tapping on the karate chop point (refer to Mona Lisa pic if you don't know where that is).
  • Now tap through all the points, repeating at each point the statement without the set-up phrases around it. In this case it would be: "My girlfriend cheated on me."
  • Tap through all the points one more time, while repeating the statement at each point.  Now you've tapped through the points twice.
  • Now ask yourself: What thoughts and feelings are coming to me now?  Whatever comes as an answer to this question can be used as your next tapping statement.  For example: "I can't believe she lied to me all those months."
  • At this point, you can either continue tapping on the first statement, or take the new statement through the steps you just did on the first statement.  Let your intuition guide you about whether to stick with the previous statement or move onto the new one.  Remember, you can always save the new statement for later.  Likewise, you can always return to a statement that you've moved on from.
  • Just continue on this manner, until the whole subject of "My girlfriend cheated on me" feels neutral, meaning you feel at peace about it.  You'll notice as you tap, if you hadn't already realized it before, that the memory you chose to work on, in all likelihood, is really a whole collection of related memories, all of which fit under the umbrella of your title memory.  Other examples of memory umbrellas might be: "Car accident," "Miscarriage," "Getting divorced."   

Basically, with EFT, if you just follow the thread, it will lead you all the way through the issue (depending on the issue's complexity, this can be done in one tapping session, and sometimes it takes multiple sessions).  So the beginning of the thread in this example is whatever the title of your memory is, and once you start tapping that out, it will lead you to the next aspect of that painful memory that's ready to be released.  Related memories and feelings will pop up, like, in this example, the lies that were told, or sometimes it's a sensory memory, like the smell of a certain food cooking when the infidelity was discovered.  

As always, be sure to let me know if you get stuck or have questions. heather@heatherambler@com ~ 650.465.4788 

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