Tapping Script for Healing from the Loss of a Child

As is the case with all of my tapping scripts, the statements below can be used as is, or modified in any way that makes them resonate more fully with your experience. Also, you may notice that when you start tapping on one of these statements, thoughts and feelings will arise that you can then use as new tapping statements, which will then give rise to still more thoughts and feelings, which you can use to create additional tapping statements, and so on. I call this following the thread, and it’s a very efficient way to heal and release a lot of painful feelings in a short amount of time.

Here are the tapping statements:

I refuse to accept that my baby passed away.

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My child died and I will never get over it--I'll be grieving for the rest of my life.

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My baby died and I'll never get to see him/her again.

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My baby died and I didn't get to say goodbye to him/her.

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I don't know how to go on without my child.

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I don't want to go on without my child.

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I wish there was something I could have done to save my baby.

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I should have done more to keep my child safe.

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I should have done more to save my child's life.

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If I had only done __________________, my child would not have died.

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If I had only not ________________________, my baby would still be here.

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I would give anything to have my baby back.

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I don't understand why God took my baby from me.

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It's not fair that my child died.

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I had unfinished business with my son/daughter, and now I'll never get to resolve things with him/her.

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I'm consumed with grief and no one knows how to relate to me.

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I wish I had been able to protect my baby and keep him/her alive, but in the end, there was nothing I could do, and it made me feel so powerless.

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People want me to heal and move on, but I can't, and I wish people would just understand that and let me be.

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I should have been a better mother, and now it's too late.

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I'm angry at God/Life/The Universe for taking our child from us.

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I will be heartbroken over the death of my child for the rest of my life.

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No one understands what I'm going through and it's really lonely for me.

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There is no way to escape the pain I'm in.

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I feel like this is just a terrible nightmare and I just want to wake up.

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Since my baby died I’m living my worst nightmare every single day, and there is no end in sight.

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I don’t want to go on without my son/daughter.

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It’s not fair that my child’s life was taken when he/she was so young.

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I don’t understand how a loving God could let someone’s child die.

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The pain I’m in is so overwhelming that I can’t function.

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I miss my baby so much—it’s all I can think about.

Tapping Script to Heal from Losing Your Mother

As with all of my tapping scripts, these statements can be used as is, or modified in any way that makes them resonate more fully with your experience. You may notice that when you start tapping on these statements, thoughts and feelings will arise that you can then turn into new tapping statements, which will then give rise to still more thoughts and feelings, which you can use to create additional tapping statements, and so on. I call this following the thread, and it’s a very efficient way to heal and release a lot of painful feelings in a short amount of time.

For a downloadable PDF of this tapping script, click here.

Here are the tapping statements: 

I'm overwhelmed with sadness because my mother died.

My mother died and I'll never get to see her again.

My mother died and I didn't get to say goodbye.

I wish I could have had more time with my mom.

My mom died and when I have kids she'll never get to meet them.

I wish there was something I could have done to save my mom.

I should have tried harder to save my mom.

I'm angry at God for taking my mother away from us.

My mom died when I was a kid and I had to grow up without her.

I would give anything to have my mom back.

I wish I could see my mom one last time and tell her how much I love her.

There are so many things I wish I'd said to my mom before she died.

No one will ever love me as much as my mom did.

I really miss my mom and I wish she was still here.

I'll always be sad about losing my mom.

I'm sad that my mom died before I got married.

My mom didn't live long enough to see her kids grow up, and that makes me really sad.

I wish my mom had lived long enough to realize her dreams.

I should have been a better daughter/son, and now it's too late.

The holidays are really hard without my mom.

I'm sad that my kids won't get to know my mom.

I'm sad that my mom never got to know my kids.

My mom loved me more than anyone else, and I really miss that kind of affection and support.

I wish my mom could be here to see what I've accomplished.

I still need my mom, but she's gone, and sometime that makes me feel like I have no one to turn to.

Sometimes when the phone rings, I think it's my mom, and then I remember it couldn't be, and the loss hits me all over again.

I'm really sad that I didn't get to say goodbye to my mom before she died.

I wish my mom could have had a longer life--there was still so much she wanted to do, and I'm sad that she didn't get to.

My mom was the one I could always turn to for advice and support, and now that she's gone, I feel really alone.

I still can't believe that my mom is gone--it's like it won't sink in.

Using Photos with EFT to Heal from Loss

One of the things I hear the most often from people who are new to EFT is that they don't know how to come up with effective tapping statements. Remember: the way that EFT works is by focusing on the issue while tapping. The tapping statements are simply a tool to keep you focused on the issue. One of the easiest ways to bring your feelings to the surface to be tapped out and released is to look at a picture of the person you're upset about it. 

So if, for example, you're grieving the loss of your husband, look at a picture of him and notice how you feel. What thoughts and feelings arise as you look at his face? Use whatever answers come to you in response to that question as tapping statements. For example: "When I look at his face, I feel so sad that he's gone. I can't believe I'll never get to see him or laugh with him again. I'm so sad that he won't get to see our kids grow up. I'm so sad that our kids lost their dad."

As you continue to look at the picture, ask yourself, "What do I miss the most about this person?" Then turn your answer to this question into tapping statements. If you lost your husband, looking a picture of him might bring up thoughts and feelings like: "I really miss the way he looked at me. No one will ever love me like that again. We were supposed to grow old together. I'll never get over this." Just take each of these, one by one, and tap them through. 

Grief doesn't have to last forever, though it's a common belief that it does and should. Grief is about mourning what we've lost, and releasing our attachment to it, not carrying the pain of that loss for the rest of our lives. I think that the reason for this widely held belief about the permanency of grief is that more often than not, it gets stuck in the body, and needs some way to be released. That's why EFT is so effective in healing grief. It unlocks the body, where the pain is stored, and clears it out. It is so simple, gentle, and quick. Grief that has been carried for decades can be released in one session, permanently. Poof!

While you're looking at a picture of your lost loved one, keep in mind that you can use the set-up where you feel it's necessary or helpful, or tap without it. Usually, though using a set-up statement is often very healing in and of itself, the tapping works just fine without it.

As you continue to use EFT to release your feelings of loss and sadness, you'll notice that looking at pictures of that person will feel lighter and lighter. The pain of grief will no longer overshadow your love for this person, and the gratitude you feel for having had them in your life. Until you reach a point where you really feel free of emotional pain when you think about the person you lost, you can use pictures as a kind of a litmus test to let you know where you are in your grieving process. Do you feel at peace when you look at this person? Or do feelings of sadness, anger, regret, or guilt come up? If painful emotions like these do arise, just tap them out. 

Though it can feel like your grief is infinite, there is an end to it. Think of it as being a glass of water. Every time you tap some of your grief away, it's like pouring out a little of the water, and that water is gone for good. The more you tap, the sooner that glass of grief will be empty.